operation harelip BJ is a go
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
