You really coming over, don't trick.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
