Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
