return my video game
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
