I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
