I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
