Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Randomize
