I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
