I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why do cheetos always look like penises
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
