Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
