Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
