No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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