I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
