Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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