dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Randomize