if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
