Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
