brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
