The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
