wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
