in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
