Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
