dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
