i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
