it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
