I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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