Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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