You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
