you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
