we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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