Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
