fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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