hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
