they need to just BURY HIM!
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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