I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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