All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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