my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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