I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
