I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
