I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Buhtt sex?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
