I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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