Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
