I can text with my tongue
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
