mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
