Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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