Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
