i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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