Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
