I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
