Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
